[list]Being funny is hard work. Some people think that humor is easy, that anybody
can be funny with very little work. This is not true. To be funny there
are a lot of things you must know about humor and a lot of situations you
must prepare for. Think fast -- you're in line at McDonald's and the guy in
front of you orders a Whopper -- what do you say? Give up? Read on,
humor impaired person, and learn the secrets of being funny.
[url=http://www.rinkworks.com/][img]
http://www.rinkworks.com/im/rinkicon.gif[/img][/url][b]What Is Funny?[/b]
Humor can be broken down into five distinct categories. You should memorize
these, as there will be a quiz later.
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[*][b]Category #1: Pain[/b]
Pain is the basis for all humor. It's a simple fact that if nobody gets
hurt, it isn't funny. This includes both physical and emotional pain. For
example, when Tweety hits Sylvester in the foot with a mallet, and he hops
screaming, stars streaming from his foot, that's funny. If Tweety hit him
and Sylvester didn't hurt at all, that's not funny. If Tweety hit him
and Sylvester didn't hurt, but Sylvester turned around and stomped on Tweety's
wittle head, that's funny.
Ethnic jokes are funny because they cause emotional pain to members of the
ethnic group they poke fun at. However, be warned that it is common practice
to respond to ethnic jokes with more humor. If you tell an ethnic joke and
someone punches you in the nose, don't be surprised -- they're just showing
their appreciation and responding in kind.
The only exception to this rule is when the pain happens to you.
When you get hurt, it's not funny. It just hurts. However, [i]other[/i]
people will find your pain amusing, so be consoled in the knowledge that even
though it hurts, people are still laughing at you.
[*][b]Category #2: The Unexpected[/b]
When something happens that you do not expect to happen, that's funny. When
an anvil falls on Wile E. Coyote, you expect him to splatter all over the
place and die. When he instead gets flattened into an accordian shape, that's
funny. (Also, of course, his pain is funny. See above.) Another example
is the title graphic at the top of this page. You read it, and the letters
are black -- but then the last character is an orangy red color. It's
unexpected, so it's funny.
When you tell a joke and no one laughs, that's funny because you didn't
expect that to happen. So if you tell a joke and no one laughs, it is polite
to laugh hysterically. Everyone else thought your joke was great, so they
returned the favor by doing something funny for you too.
[*][b]Category #3: Lies and Other Untruths[/b]
Lies are inherently funny. If someone behind you in line asks how long
you've been waiting, and you say "forever and a day," that's funny because it's
a lie. Political jokes are popular because they're lies about liars. If a
United States president is portrayed as a giant vending machine handing cash to
a donkey, that's funny, because it's a lie. Probably what really happened was
he gave the money to an elephant and a guy with a scythe.
Another type of "lie" that is funny is when you see something in a place
where it couldn't be, or doing something that isn't possible. This type of
humor is both untrue [i]and[/i] unexpected, so it's doubly funny. For
instance, if a big fat cartoon character like Elmer Fudd tiptoes behind a
skinny little tree and hides, that's funny. If a skinny little cartoon
character like Bugs Bunny hides behind Elmer Fudd, that's not funny.
[*][b]Category #4: Wordplay[/b]
Saying words in funny ways is funny. For instance, Sylvester the cat is
funny because he talks with a lisp and spits at the letter 's'. When British
people say "aluminium," that's funny. In fact, anybody with an accent that
isn't like yours is funny, and you should laugh to show your appreciation.
Another type of wordplay that is funny is saying one word when you mean
another. If you're with your girlfriend, and you call her "Cathy" when you
meant to say "Tina," that's funny. This type of humor is often followed
by humor involving pain. (See above.)
[*][b]Category #5: Puns[/b]
Actually, puns aren't funny.
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[*]nny. This type of humor is often followed
by humor involving pain. (See above.)
[*][b]Category #5: Puns[/b]
Actuall
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