The perfect son:
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse
jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?"
asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second
language."
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever
I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody
ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered
the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it
to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was
your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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